In this latest reboot of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, director Michael Bay continues to solidify his position in Hollywood as the maker of big budget junk food with this bastardisation of another childhood icon.
While I cannot say this film is unenjoyable, the writing is really weak, and the plot is filled with more holes than Tiger Woods has golfed in his life. While the original cartoon characters were portrayed to be wannabe hip teenagers, Bay 'modernises' them by adding a racist/technology slant that I am surprised isn't taking as much heat from the public as it should. Then again perhaps most people have learned to stay away from his films now.
During viewing, I found the film to be excruciating to sit through, but in retrospect, there were actually some bits that were well done. Firstly I think the 'mutant' aspect of the turtles is a lot more well done than in previous movies, both animation, live action and CGI, which all tended to simply look like anthrophomorphised turtles too adorable to really find mutant-like. Secondly, Megan Fox was a good casting choice. I have to admit that when it was first announced she would play April O'Neill, I thought it was a joke, but when it came down to it, I honestly think she didn't do too badly given the material. At least she wore the yellow jumpsuit and got the over-ambitious reporter angle of the character correct.
So maybe it's not as bad as Transformers 4, but it's certainly not a film I would recommend as a must-see. It shows no sign that Director Bay will stop his mistreatment of and spite for the cinema-going public, and continue to attack our childhood memories with explosions and racism.
Some nitpicks (Spoilers!)
- The backstory of how the turtles became mutant as well as how April's father died in trying to destroy the lab is really lame.
- How do the turtles get Internet in the sewers? Even if they were piggybacking off someone's wi-fi on the surface how did they buy the computer and custom equipment? Since they never left the sewers till this movie, did splinter buy it all for them? He must have some pretty darn good disguises, do shops accept "Sewers" as a shipping address? Is the manhole on 32nd Street their mailbox?
- In the middle of the film, splinter is seriously wounded, but then he instructs his turtles and April to go stop Shredder before getting medical treatment. Then at the very end of the film they finally come back to him and he's still in that same spot. I guess he didn't need medical attention, and had Wolverine's healing abilities that works really slowly.
- April should have died during the snow mountain chase scene, like, 100 times.
- The villain's plan 1. makes no sense since the chemicals they needed to poison the city was being smuggled BEFORE Splinter and Mr Sacks has any form of antidote available for this plan to work.
- The villain's plan 2. Lets ignore the plot continuity error I just mentioned. But if you release a toxin to an entire city so you can sell them the antidote, an antidote which you haven't really tested yet and have an extremely limited supply of; do you seriously expect to get away with it? I'm pretty sure by the climax of the film half the city knows he is working for the Foot Clan, whom are considered terrorists. I doubt he'll be able to spend that money. And for that matter, he already looks darn rich, what more money do you need if you own a mansion and can fund the development of an Iron Man suit?